Skip to main content

Good days

We've had a good last few days. Really good. His energy level is up and his pain is down, and it's like having him back to his old self. It's so nice.

This morning I mentioned to the three year old that he was feeling better and her face lit up. "He is feeling better right now!" Later, she asked him to go sledding with her. There is no snow. Maybe one day.

Even better news was that when he went to the doctor this week for a concerning pain, we learned that the pain is actually from the cancer dying, and it seems to be dying ahead of schedule. This is fabulous news, and seems to make everything worth it. We just need to keep our eye on the prize of health at the end of all of this.

I don't have as much to say about good days because I'm usually so caught up in the good moments that I'm not ruminating on them, or writing blog posts in my head while trying to keep my head above water. I'm trying to soak in the good moments while I can, and enjoy our family in the moment before we start the chemo cycle over again next Thursday.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cleo's Daddy

If you ask my 3 year old who Cleo is, she'll say "She's my best friend. She doesn't listen. She's not fake." That is pretty much all you need to know. If someone colored on the walls, it was probably Cleo. The stuffed animals all over the floor? Cleo? Why is my daughter dancing around naked? Cleo's mom told her to. Bathroom visits take twice as long because we have to wait for Cleo to take her turn too. The other day, I caught my daughter cleaning up the floor in her room, and she patiently explained to me that Cleo had pooped on the floor, so she was dumping water on the spot. When I suggested that since Cleo has imaginary poop, maybe it could be cleaned with imaginary water. This did not go over well. My older daughter, whose six, has asked the three year old why she plays with Cleo, if Cleo is so mean. That should tell you about what we overhear when the three year old is playing by herself. The two of them are always fighting. So when my husban

Work? Family?

Today, my six year old asked why I don't play with her anymore. Obviously, she doesn't care about the cereal boxes on the counter. She wants me. I haven't taken a shower without her sitting on the floor of the bathroom since this all began. She also told me that she hates how angry she gets right now. "I didn't use to get angry so fast," she said, "but now I do. It's hard. I just want someone to play with me." We used to do some serious play and projects together. Art projects are our thing. Yesterday, during the first snow fall of the year, I didn't even go out to play with her in the snow. I sent her out by herself. This can't keep going. Something has to give. But what? I can't leave an unclean house, mostly because I need to keep it disinfected for my husband. Drop work?  I spent the last year and a half building up my own consulting business. It's been hard, and I've loved it. I've never felt so scared and

Undeserving - true, deep, thoughts rarely said out loud.

It seems silly to write a blog about my own struggles with my husband's cancer diagnosis, because 1) I don't have cancer, he does. 2) It's a "great" diagnosis. It's the kind of cancer everyone recovers from. So really, we don't have much to be sad about. We are celebrating the great diagnosis. It's just a tough six months in front of us, that's all. But there is a light at the end, and we'll be OK.  3)  There are so many worse things that could happen. I feel like I don't deserve to feel stressed or saddened by this. A Facebook friend of mine lost her husband this spring. He died. My husband is still here, and there is a promise of a full life on the other side of this. So it's hard to acknowledge my saddness in all this. People go through much, much worse things in life. 4) People are so wonderful to us right now. We are so, so blessed by so many wonderful friends, and I am so thankful for all their support and kindness because