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The cereal box

There were three cereal boxes on the counter. And a bag of bagels. On the counter. Like, not put away in the pantry. They wouldn't fit. So we stacked them in front of the kitchen aid.

WE STACKED THEM IN FRONT OF THE KITCHEN AID LIKE WE WERE SOME KIND OF LAZY BUMS WHO DON'T ORGANIZE THEIR HOUSE.

I lost it. Literally, lost  my shit.

Those damn cereal boxes needed to be in the pantry. Like we were civilized people who don't store their food on the counter.

Those boxes were coming to get me. They were smoothering me. Taking over my kitchen, taking up space, spreading out, until we no longer realized they were there and we lived every day accepting the mess because we now had no time to clean it up. Those boxes were a cancer on our lives and I needed them GONE.

This isn't the type of thing that normally bothers me. I mean, I try to aim for a de-cluttered house, but I can usually deal with it. Last year, in the first year of starting my own business, I'd hung onto that J.K. Rowling quote that she'd basically lived in squalor while writing her books. If it was OK for her when writing Harry Potter, then it was OK for me starting a business. Last fall, I was OK with the mess.

Not now.

I guess I was extra awful and yelling because my husband grabbed me. You know, the guy with actual cancer. Who has to have chemo flood through his body? He grabbed me and hugged me while I cried because there were cereal boxes on the counter, and I couldn't control anything else, so damn it, I was going to control how we organized our food. I don't think he should be the one comforting me. 

Today, I was OK with the clutter. There is only one cereal box left on the counter, so maybe that's it, or maybe I'm settling in to the new normal. As I write this (and allowed myself the time and space to write this) the living room is a disaster. A chair is packed with bags, dinner dishes are still out, and it's hard to put anything down on the counter in the kitchen. But I haven't yelled or snapped at anyone today (undeserved. I yelled at Cleo and the three year old a few times, but they were asking for it with the running around naked when they were supposed to be brushing their teeth), and now everyone is in bed.
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